Able Baker Charley Delta

A regular post for once

Oh, woe is me! I can’t win ten scrabble games in a row! (Oh, the shame of even wanting to play ten scrabble games in a row!)

I feel faint shame that I hardly work at my job and yet excel at it. What would things be like if I really put forth an effort? However, I just can’t be bothered: I’m just too fucking lazy. This has gone on for something like 12 years. I remember discovering that I could get all of my work done for the day, every day, by 10 a.m. That set me free to completely goof off for up to 7 ½ hours a day. I have upgraded my job perhaps five times since then and still only work ½ to 2 hours a day – some days more, some days less. Witness the idiot writing I have been doing on this site. This is just part of my goofing off. And yet, I get really good reviews, raises and bonuses. Ha!

I remember that for a while, I would come into work really tired, get my work done by 10, then start scheming about where I could go to take a nap. Sometimes I would take a folded up tarp out into the woods, just out of sight of the building and sleep a couple of hours. Other times, I would go to a park, lower the seat of my car and sleep. Sometimes I slept in dark, empty rooms. I would plot to get a van, so I could sleep in it while at work.

Then, I finally got old enough that I didn’t need as much sleep, so I didn’t have to plot how to get nap time in at work. What a great improvement! That allowed me to slip out and read books, take nature hikes and all like that. I started taking literature and Latin courses to have something to do at work. I would read the assigned books online, do my papers at work or study Latin on exercise pages I had Xeroxed on company copiers. This was really a pretty rewarding kind of work life. Good pay, minimum work, maximum cultural enrichment.

Now, if you are like me, this type of thing sets you to wondering about things like “Why are we all here on Earth?” and “What is the nature of reality?” I must say, such thoughts are not immediately beneficial to commercial pursuits – they don’t really dovetail with corporate goals.

You know, companies who want the kind of work I do for the idiotic, ridiculously profitable “industries” I have worked in have too many rules. For instance, I have to come in to work every day and sit in a cubicle (you know, Dilbertism). I could certainly do my job from anywhere I would have network and cell phone access, but they don’t want to sign off on that. I could definitely see working while on an extended, extensive beach tour. I could boot up in my camper or tent every morning, call in to conference calls and then start goofing off in a beautiful, relaxing setting. Or, I could call in from the French or Italian countryside, or from Ladakh, or Finland, or Alaska, or wherever. What the hell difference would it make?