being which is an interview with Panbu, interdimensional traveler

JHW: So what happened, tough guy?

Panbu: I fell through the toilet seat into a sparkly, glittering world. It was really pretty.

JHW: You were in the toilet, stupid!

Panbu: No, my friend. I went through some sort of portal to another world.

JHW: The toilet seat was the portal?

Panbu: No. No. The portal existed in the same place as the toilet.

JHW: Like another dimension or a time warp or somefin?

Panbu: A chrono-synclastic infinidibulum.

JHW: Oh, okay. I figured it would get to that eventually. So what brought you back? You are back, aren’t you?

Panbu: Yes, it is my wife who pulled me back through after many adventures having was I.

JHW: Uh….

Panbu: My wife is safing me! She wave and up from toilet coming am I with the glitters.

JHW: Okay, okay. Man, this is wracking my mind. So, what’s your wife’s name?

Panbu: Dretcha.

JHW: No! Dretcha Samulan?

Panbu: Yes, how you know?

JHW: I used to date someone by that name. Is she 6’2” with red hair?

Panbu: Yes! You used to date wife?

JHW: Date, hell! Well, yes. So then, how long you two been married? A month or so?

Panbu: No, no! Ten years!

JHW: Damn, I was dating her for three years up until three months ago. Well, I wouldn’t really call it dating, more like uh - you know...buddies.

Panbu: Oh. Is like friends?

JHW: Sure, but... Anyway…(damn, she was enthusiastic, too!) so how did she bring you back?

Panbu: She lifting the toilet lid.

JHW: For Christ’s sake! So, tell me about the glittering world?

Panbu: Is all pretty, shiny gray, with mint color ground. I meeting Pinkle, a little man.

JHW: Whoa, hold up. Pinkle? How little was he?

Panbu: Pinkle two feet tall. Not really a man, but pink. He point and it make me hurt and he thinking inside my head.

JHW: Okay, here we go.

Panbu: Pinkle not my friend, but he there. I’m saying “No, Pinkle!”

JHW: All right, what else?

Panbu: Air is slick like when you go “slurp” it slick in your mouth. Also is the wind slick when you see it.

JHW: For sure. Ha ha. "Who has seen the wind?" I get it. So what is glittering over there?

Panbu: This is the sky, also the ground. Sparkly, like Christmas card. This is nice. So nice. I like to be there even though with Pinkle. Pinkle have different pink stripes on his chest.

JHW: Sure, okay. Was your wife glad for you to get back home from Dimension X, kiss you and all like that?

Panbu: Yes, glad but no kiss.

JHW: That’s funny. Oh well, exactly what else went on over there – Through The Toilet Seat? Let's hear it.

Panbu: I am seeing big rooster. Psychedelic Rooster.

JHW: Yeah. Okay, big, psychedelic rooster. Wow, uh-huh.

Panbu: He is 50 feet tall at least with blur around him and shiny runny.

JHW: You liked the big rooster.

Panbu: Oh, very much! Very much. But Pinkle is running away. Rooster scream like anything. More loud than gods can being.

JHW: And then?

Panbu: Wife bring me back.

JHW: Say, did you say your last name is Smuyan? That was my wife's name. Jana Smuyan.

Panbu: She is my sister.

JHW: Hm. Small world, they say.

Panbu: You my brother.

JHW: Ah yes. Say, is your wife at home now?

Panbu: Yes.

JHW: Where are you going?

Panbu: I’m going to work.

JHW: How long will you be there?

Panbu: Oh, about 8 hours, maybe 10.

JHW: Okay, this about wraps it up. This will make a good report for my blog. Thanks and tell Pinkle hello if you see him.

Panbu: No! Pinkle!