I sold Jessica Simpson my crowbar

Interview with Robb Kluger

Me: What's this with you and Jessica? Tell me again.

Robb: Well, she's been pesterin' me for you know.

Me: Jessica Simpson?

Robb: Yeah.

Me: For what? To have sex with you?

Robb: Yeah. She won't put it down, you know, "please please please" and all like that. But you know, I'm like particular and all that. Believe me, I've got all I can deal with, but she keeps it up all the time. "Don't be so mean to me" and all of that.

Me: Yeah, I know what you mean. Pesky!!

Robb: Absolutely.

Me: So what did you do? Kick her ass?

Robb: I want to, but finally she waved $1,000 in my face so I'm like okay I can go for that.

Me: Was that all she had?

Robb: So she said. But anyway, I'm getting ready and she saw the snake size and fainted. I put him back in the holster. She wakes up and I say "Was it good to you?"
She's like faking she knows what's going on. "Oh, yeah. So big." I said, I'll push it again for another K-note. That appealed to her cause she couldn't remember nothing, so she produced some more green.

Me: Did she get the reward this time?

Robb: Oh, yeah and then some.

Me: You the man!

Robb: Worst part is she is addicted now. I can't shake her and I want to go for the real deal, some real women.

Me: Want me to handle her for you?

Robb: Gee, would you?

Me: No thang, dude.

The End