Moonlight, Butyl Nitrate and You

A Fine Swim In The Lake

It was a bright morning and I strode to the lake in my swimming trunks. Suddenly, I had a cussedly brilliant idea and ran, full tilt to the lake, throwing myself at high speed like a great stone out and onto the water. Stretching my arms ahead of me and my legs behind like Superman in Flight, I skimmed on my stomach out across the lake, skipping many times over and so, on to the other side of the lake.

Oh boy! What a great swim!

I came to rest at the far side of the lake and stood up to my chest in the water. The lake bottom muck squished up through my toes like shit through a tin horn. I faced the side of the lake I had just propelled myself from and bellowed mightily. It was the loudest sound I have ever made, a voluminous, thunderous bellow of manly intensity. I smiled, self-satisfied and dipped back down into the water so just my eyes and forehead were above water level. I felt like a big amphibian.

I had to laugh with relish at my good feeling and loudness ability.

Suddenly, inhabitants of the lakeside appeared all around the lake looking about and shouting, “What the fuck was that noise?” I had snookered them and now, they didn’t see me.

With a reverse splash onto the lake bank, I thrust myself back up out of the water on to the shore and, un-remarked, joined them in feigned consternation. “Damn! What was that?” I mock-wondered.

I saw a horse there and begged the milk maiden might I mount it. “Oh, yes!” she declaimed.

I rode from village to village bellowing mightily, drawing out the stunned morons of the countryside until I lost my voice entirely and trick rode the pony on back to its lakeside stable.

The End