How Reality Got Started

In the beginning there was chaos, brittle rumbling, harsh noise, discomfort and the generalized whining of the non-cosmos; black holes, gravity sinks and unreality reigned. Then up rose Santa Claus from the North Pole, charging along on his sledge behind hoofed, flying creatures, surging through the ding dong darkness toward the dawning of the celestial light.

Santa Claus went everywhere at once on his magic sledge, slurping cocoa and trudging home copies of “Are You Experienced” by the Jimi Hendrix Experience. Lo, a new light dawned on creation, the cosmos, the US, etc. Peals of wah-wah guitar broke over the unformed Soviet Bloc, creating freedom. Aw, Purple Haze! And it was Good, really good.
Reality began to form, people awoke, the universes began in their present forms.