Exclusive interview with John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin

Zep Bassist Jones Describes ’72 Interdimensional Tour

In a shocking admission today, ex-Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones described a tour that the band took of another dimension during (perhaps simultaneously with?) the band’s 1972 Australian Tour. Here are excerpts from my exclusive interview.

Mr Wrong: So tell me again, how did this come about?

Mr Jones: I was in Perth, Australia with me mates when we were introduced to this
dodgy looking bloke who was talking about other dimensions, well – one other dimension – “Xaa’t’mahn”, which he represented. We were in a hotel lounge having beverages and up he comes and asks our availability to perform in Xaa’t’mahn. I thought he was on about Germany.

Mr Wrong: Who was this guy?

Mr Jones: He said his name was Nmoo. He didn’t look right – sort of more a
facsimile rather than a proper chap, you know? But we listened to his tales of traveling in this other dimension and we played along, you see. “Ah, yes,” says Pagey, “we’ve been fancying playing another boro, yes.” Everyone agreed, said it would be smashing.

Mr Wrong: Big mistake?

Mr Jones: As it turned out. The next thing I know we are whooshing through a silvery vacuum full of glitter and air. I see Bonzo flying along next to me and say, “apparently some one has buggered me beverage again, what?” We were quite erturbed. Robby was flailing his arms and doing his “Whole Lotta Love” shout as he hurtled about. I thought, “well, this won’t be right - we haven’t our gear along with us to play for the interdimenshies”.

Mr Wrong: So, let me get this right – you, Led Zeppelin, traveled to another dimension in 1972?

Mr Jones: What have I been saying then? Yes! We did.

Mr Wrong: Well, why haven’t you told anyone about this previous to now?

Mr Jones: You see, so many unusual things were happening to us in that period, why
bother, right? But as I was saying, we were hurtling along at well, at
interdimensional rates to – apparently - Xaa’t’mahn. I saw the dodgy looking bloke there as well, looking like the cat what swallowed up the canary. This Nmoo was quite the Zeppelin follower, it seems. Next up, we are standing in a silvery, glowing place looking about us all dumbfounded. I felt quite elated, but light-headed. I also missed my beverage, but no sooner than I thought that, there it was in my hand for the drinking. I drank it, I did! So then Page says to Nmoo, “Here you are you blighter, what’s this?” And Nmoo said “the Xaa’t’mahn Tour has begun!” Then our equipment showed up and we thought we might as well play. The audience showed up but was more like pencil tips and thumbs than our usual crew. Don’t know what they were really, but we played our usual set. There werent’ amplifiers or speakers but the music went straight into the dimension so that you could tell it went everywhere at once.

Mr. Wrong: Uh.

Mr Jones: We toured the whole dimension I think, about 100 shows.

Mr Wrong : I have this picture of Zep as a hedonistic group of individuals. What did
you all do for diversion on this interdimensional tour?

Mr Jones: Well, as I was saying, things, like my beverage for instance, just had a habit of appearing for our benefit. So we’re thinking, well, I’m missing the ladies attendant to such an excursion and voila! Ladies, galore. Now, again, these were somewhat facsimile ladies, but not in the important regards – and it seemed they configurated to our, uh specifications. I worked my way up to this generously-sized seven foot tall black woman. I saw Page at one time with two ten feet tall cubist-looking women. Oh, yes. We were not lacking for diversion in Xaa’t’mahn. What you thought was what you got. And apparently, musicians had been there before us.

Mr Wrong: Do tell.

Mr Jones: It seemed that when we got into more jazzy interludes, the place opened up and got light and airy as if there was recognition of that preparation. Then it turns out, the Dave Brubeck Quartet had proceeded us, according to Nmoo and were quite the hit with the pencil stubs.

Mr Wrong: Okay! So, again, why haven’t you told Anyone But Me about this?

Mr Jones: Well, I did mention it to Eric Clapton, or “God” as he fancies himself and he told me to shut up about it – made me sound like a lunatic. Ha, he should talk. But, you should have heard how resplendent my organ intro to “Your Time Is Gonna Come” sounded when played through a whole dimension. It was a highlight I can tell you. And when it was over we were right back in the same lounge at the same time we had left. Odd.